Multiple Identities

     You know the feeling:  You are in a meeting, at a party, out to dinner, you look just the way you want to, each word you speak is the right one, conversation comes easily, you laugh at the right places, you are relaxed, you feel good about yourself and the people around you see that you are on top of your game, they gravitate toward you, it’s just great being you – the stars are aligned, the gods are with you, you have created the perfect storm. 

     But you also know this feeling:   You are in another  place, at a party, out to dinner with different friends, maybe in a meeting.  Someone asks you a question, you pause, not sure how to start, then you begin to answer but haltingly.  Now you are nervous,  starting to feel a little wet under the arms.  You try again.  No better.  The person who asked you the question tries to rescue you by rephrasing the question and then someone else jumps in to take more of the focus away from you.  You are left feeling inadequate, non-fluent, anything but smart.  Not only do you not feel like yourself,  you feel like you’ve been abducted by aliens and the imposter is posing as you – you can’t wait to get home, crawl  under the covers, hyperventilate a little and black out.   

      One person, two situations, how many identities?  And what does it matter anyway?  Who cares?  People have good days and bad days and maybe that’s all there is to it.  But, then again,  maybe it’s more complicated than just bringing your A game to one situation and your B game to another.  And, as it turns out, we all have many games to bring, a kind of A-Z alphabet soup collection of selves.  

Decades of research, including my own, indicates that the differences in how human beings act in different contexts as they assume various roles points to the notion of multiple identities –  identities that are displayed to ourselves and others due to a myriad of factors that come into play and, under the right conditions, coax one of our many selves into the limelight to display his or her unique talents (or flaws).   While it all sounds like a setting for one more of Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Rises movie, the concept of identity has amassed a huge scholarly following, replacing, to some degree, an historical interest in understanding who a person is by virtue of their race, class, identity and/or sexuality -- or the way two or more of these intersect.  The idea of identity is more conceptually dynamic and individually specific as it helps us drill down to a deeper level of thinking about the self and its relationship to a complex, ever-changing social world in which we live.  If we do, in fact, have many different people living inside of us, what could that mean for change and self-growth?  What could that mean for those of us who are committed to a never-ending I-Quest?   Hopefully, I can figure out some answers before the next blog entry.